Energy Vampires & Lightworkers

Hello, my friend!

I'm so happy to see you again! Thank you for the lovely comments to last weeks' post. It was definitely a surprise to me to learn that Spirit wanted me to share about my mom. Well, not just that, but that we were going to get alllll the details out. I've always been pretty open about her death, but I'll admit I usually gloss over the specific shit for fear of traumatizing people. 

I tell people, "I'm fine". And, for the most part, I am. Thanks, in large part, to my incredible husband. He lets me be sad when I am missing her, angry when I need to be. He understands that it's a complicated thing, losing your mother like that. And the fact that my mother and I had a complicated relationship, only makes it that much worse. Most days, I didn't want to be around her. But, that doesn't mean I didn't love her. And, it doesn't mean that she wasn't my friend and that we didn't have amazing memories together. 

My brother thinks "I'm fine", too. And, I suppose, on the surface I could see why he'd think so. I don't have a gambling problem, spending problem, drinking problem, or drug problem. But, what he (and others, except my husband) don't know is that I went the opposite direction. Instead of doing things to mask the pain, I did things to avoid the pain. As much as possible, anyway.

I changed the way I write. That's probably the biggest one. As in my handwriting. Our handwriting was so similar, it was hard to tell them apart. It was too painful, so I changed mine. I can still go back, but it hurts sometimes. So, it's safer to just...not. I stopped watching Law & Order and other ghost/mystery shows, because those are what we used to watch together. I stopped reading the Harry Potter books. We'd made it through the first three books when she died. I didn't start reading them again until...probably 2016? I'd already seen and loved the movies by then. I also stopped reading JDRobb's books, because we used to pass those back and forth. I finally picked those back up. I could never quite pull myself away from Stephen King for quite as long, but I did take a break there, too. I also stopped listening to country music. I still haven't gone back to that. 

The worst part was that I gave away or donated most of her belongings, right after her death. We'd put all of her things in a storage unit. I can't remember why, exactly—probably because we couldn't afford it—but we got rid of the unit. And everything in it. Oh, I kept a few things. Her high school year book, photo albums, our baby books. Her Christmas bells and a few other knick-knacks. All amounts to a couple boxes and a tote's worth of stuff. I think the thing I wish I still had the most...was her Stephen King collection. It was massive and very...sentimental. I'd given it to her best friend. I certainly don't regret WHO I'd given it to. If anyone would take care of it, it would be her. I just wish I still had it. That's all. My mom always said that she knew she didn't have much to leave me, but she hoped I'd keep it. And I didn't. So, if my brother is sorry for the things he said the last time he saw our mom, and if my mom's sorry that she "let him" (meaning let her ex-boyfriend kill her), then I'm sorry I didn't keep her SK collection. There, I finally said it. 

Hank says, "She forgives you."

Well, that's enough gooey shi—ooooow of emotion for one day.

So, Energy Vamps and Lightworkers.

Lightworkers are, basically, any soul that came here to "light the way". They came here to bring happiness, joy, and calm. But, also to bring light to dark situations, to help others find their center, find their true purpose, remember their path, and walk it. There are many, many lightworkers here. Some have yet to remember themselves that this is what they are here to do. The route of their path may look different than other lightworkers. 

It is possible to have a lightworker also be Spirit Sensitive or Medium. But, they are also, fire fighters, nurses, doctors, teachers, writers. And so on. Being a Lightworker has more to do with what you signed up for on the soul level, than what your occupation is, if that makes sense. Although, to be fair, being Spirit Sensitive is more of that, too. My point is, being a lightworker is more of a trait, or secondary vocation. That's how I hear it in my head. Only in the sense that for many people it will be something that happens innately, without any thought or intention. And yet that purpose is still being carried out. In addition to your life path. That is why so many lightworkers are also...all those other vocations. All with noble causes and intentions.

For those lightworkers that haven't remembered their agreement to do so—they're simply awaiting their "spark". Which will come, in time, according to their path. Another lightworker will being doing what they do best, lighting the way, and—like a flame in a dark room—will light their wick. And, with that, another lightworker will be out in the world, working to make it a brighter, more joyful place.

It's not an easy job. Being a lightworker is damn hard some days. In case you couldn't tell, I am a lightworker. I used to suspect, but Hank confirmed it. This blog is one of the ways I "work my light". That's what we call it. And, as my friend Barlow Adams once said to me, "I think it's hardest for people who always bring the light. Starts to feel like the universe is asking them to brighten a black hole." Barlow has a way with words that I can only hope to absorb through reading his writing. I was feeling pretty down and having a hard time seeing the surface when he said that to me. But when he did, it's like my soul remembered that all I had to do was find another lightworker, and then our flames would be brighter, and our jobs easier.

From then on, I focused on working to make my own light as bright as possible, so that others could find me, could find their spark—thereby making an even brighter space for us all. So, thank you, Barlow, for helping me to find the light.

Another challenge for lightworkers is Energy Vampires.

Like moths to a flame, it's inevitable that we'd attract these. And, honestly? It's not just lightworkers that attract energy vampires. It's everyone. 

Energy Vamps are just what they sound like—they suck they energy right out of anyone and everyone they can. The brighter the light, the better for them. But that doesn't mean they won't tap whatever they have in front of them.

In my experience, more often than not, these people don't even realize that they ARE energy vampires. They are so enmeshed, they almost can't even help it at that point. I'm not saying it makes it okay, I'm saying they don't know they are doing it.

Now, having said that, some people DO know, and they are just the evil, nasty people. They are malicious and get off on causing other people pain. Run away!! 

They are easy to spot though! The people you are around that are full of negative energy...everything bad happens to them, for no apparent reason, and they complain about everything! They argue, belittle, criticize, and pretty much feel and act as though the whole world revolves around them. They leave you feeling drained, tired, cranky. OMG, freaking vamp stole your energy! 

It's fairly easy to deal with, too. Remember all those other posts? About boundaries, grounding, cleansing, bubbling and cords? Yep, all super fucking important if you MUST deal with these people. Ideally, these are the people that you would steer clear of, just cut them out totally. But, I get that sometimes you just don't have that choice. Maybe you're related to someone like that, or you have to work in the same office as someone like that. Well, now you've got some handy items in your toolbox to protect and help you for those situations.

A couple of other tips:

When a negative person is complaining, reflect their comments back to them. Instead of feeding into their drama by allowing them to continue to go on and on and on, reflect it back. For example, if a coworker is complaining that it's not fair that so and so is allowed to be on her phone (even though that person's kid is home sick), instead of letting her "vent", say, "You're upset that so and so is on the phone with her sick kid." After enough times, having it presented in their face, they begin to see just how gross it is. Plus, they aren't getting that energy exchange they were looking/hoping for. 

Set boundaries - actual boundaries, not just spiritual boundaries. Knowing the person and how much you can tolerate will go a long way towards knowing what the boundary looks like here. Can you tolerate coffee or lunch with this person, but not very often? Or, is it okay if they come to a party at your house? Or, better if they just not (as in, a coworker that you don't socialize with outside of work)?

Set beginning and ends times, if that helps, too.

Don't be afraid to say, "No." There is nothing wrong with that. You are not required to give an explanation. In the work setting, if someone is adding yet another task to your already full plate, instead of saying, "No," which is not allowed (or frowned upon, at the least), instead, tell them what you've already got, and let the person assigning the task be the person to decide which other item takes a back-burner to the new assignment. That takes some of the pressure off of you, plus it makes everything transparent. 

I'm sure there are other tips when dealing with energy vamps. But these are my "go to" tips that I have used in my own life. They have been very effective for me. 

All right, my love. Go forth.

Be the light you wish to see in the world.

As always, I hope you find this helpful. 

I look forward to hearing from you, either on this post, or on Instagram or Twitter, soon. 

As always, Namaste

💖

Alain Davis

@HopelessOptimst