Boundaries

Hello, friend!

Today, we're going to talk about boundaries. 

But, first, let me thank you for being here. I can't tell you how much your support means to me. Truly. As always, if you have any questions or comments—drop them in the comments below. Or, come find me on Twitter or Instagram (my links are on the sidebar). I'm here to help and I'd love to hear from you. So, please don't think you're being a bother. You're totally NOT. 

All right! On to BOUNDARIES.

Let me just say, boundaries are super fucking important for anyone doing this sort of work. It took me awhile to figure that out. The hard way. And I'm not gonna lie—sometimes I forget these steps. Thank God for my husband and Jade, since it's usually one of them that remind me. (If you're not sure who Jade is, read last week's post here.) Like I've said many times I'm not an expert by any means. That's probably why this is referred to as a "practice", right?

For me, it took a little while to get the hang of boundaries. What it boiled down to, for me, was knowing that it was a combination of setting firm rules as well as bubbles over places/things I wanted to protect. In the beginning, I was just setting rules. But that didn't quite seem to be enough. So then I switched to just bubbles. But that wasn't enough, either. But the combination of the two has really done the trick.

Keep in mind, these boundaries are energetic, or spiritual, boundaries. These are what will really make it easier to work with your abilities. Before I put boundaries in place, I had Spirit trying to reach me at all hours—essentially whenever they wanted, however they wanted. Boundaries gave my life some order, gave me some control over things. But it's two fold - it also showed Spirit that I am absolutely willing to help them and work with them. They just gotta respect my rules. And I have to be consistent in being OPEN every day and working with Spirit.

So, what are my rules? They look like this:

    1. Only Spirit Guides are permitted in our house - all other Spirits must wait outside.

    2. Contact can be made with ME during OPEN hours only.

    3. Contact can only be made through Hank, first. He will bring you to me.

    3. You may not contact any other member of my family.

Simple, right? 

But in the beginning? OMG, it was fucking bananas. Spirit was trying to reach me, like I said, at all hours. My sleep was so disrupted every night. I was a walking zombie. Everyone in the house was having issues, too. Most especially the kids (who were much younger at the time). They were hearing "people calling their names". There were several times, we'd put the kids to bed, and then we'd hear one of the kids call out "mama". I'd go down the hall and they're all sound asleep. My daughter was afraid to sleep in her room for ages, and we'd always find her either in her little brother's room or in the living room because of "the man in her room". These were just a few of the instances we had—all of them in Arizona. 

When we moved to Iowa, the first thing I did was sage the house (I'll get into that in a future post). The house felt bright, open...clean. Then...it started feeling...hectic. Busy. Chaotic. Now, it might be important to know that before we moved my friend Jade gave me a message that there would be "a line of spirits waiting to speak to me" when we got where we were going. This was before we had even decided where we were moving. Well, guess what's two blocks down the road? Yep. A cemetery. So, here we are, in our nice, new, cleansed house and all of a sudden it's bananas. I was ready to tear my hair out.

That's when my husband got poked by that one spirit that was trying to get his message through (you can read about that here). My daughter also had a couple of experiences, and so did my sons. So, I went and re-read Kim Russo's book The Happy Medium (I highly recommend this book, my friend). I also went back to Jessica Lee's website (both of these I recommended in this post). I decided to try something different and combined the things I learned from both of them.

My husband and I decided what our rules were going to be. We went through and saged the house again. I grounded and cleansed and then, in my mind's eye, got on a bull horn and SHOUTED these rules. Then, I put our ENTIRE fucking property—the house, the backyard, the shed, even the giant-ass tree—in a humongous bubble...which I accomplished by the use of a helicopter. Yes. You heard me. What? How else would a bubble that size be able to be placed? LOL Okay, yes, it seems silly, but it's my mind's eye. Anyways. This bubble is SOLID. I'm talking the walls of it are at least two-feet thick. It makes a huge THUD when it meets the ground. Then, I visualize it going down through and under the ground in order to encompass our basement and water well—look, I wasn't kidding when I said our entire property—so that the bubble could close. From the ground level, it sort of looks like a pink, sparkly snow globe. 

Now. Here's the thing. These have to be replaced fairly regularly. I think of them as being RENEWED. The rules, I renewed every day at first. Then once a week. Now it's like, once a month. I feel they are pretty solid at this point. The bubble is what I'm terrible at. I always forget to renew it. You'd think it'd be something I'd remember, given that I bubble myself every day (if not more than once). But no. I forget. And then things start getting a little...hectic feeling. You can just sort of feel the energy ratchet up a notch. And then my hubby will ask if I've put a bubble on the house recently. 

OOH...I should add it to my journal!! That worked for my daily grounding. I'm happy to report that I am on a 34-day grounding/cleansing streak!

Now, for you, you might find that rules alone might work. And your rules might be totally different than mind. Cool. Or, you might find that just bubbling your property might work. Or doing both only once in awhile is fine (my bubble seems to need frequent replacing). And that's okay, right? Because everyone is unique. But being unique doesn't make us any less valid. Your abilities are going to present different than mine. And that's totally cool. We're both still valid. 

So, tell me—what type of rules will you put in place? What will go in your Bubble? Give it a try and let me know how things go.

My Spirit Guide wants me to be sure to mention that even if you don't think you have these abilities, these techniques can be used if "you're being bothered by Spirits". If weird things are happening, if you're being bothered by frequent nightmares, if your little one is having trouble going down at night, if you feel like you get the creeps in a certain part of your house...If things are happening in your home, using these techniques may be helpful, regardless of whether you are like me or not. I can't say that they will solve your problem completely, but depending on the situation-it absolutely CAN HELP. At least a little.

The other part of boundaries is knowing that boundaries in our every day life are just as important as our energetic boundaries. Knowing what we are capable of, what we want to do, can do, and are willing to do are crucial to our overall well being. Setting healthy boundaries is going to help you feel more in control, more balanced, and better able to manage your life. 

Saying "no" does not make you the Bad Guy. It makes you the person who doesn't cancel at the last minute, the person who doesn't do a half-assed job because they really didn't want to in the first place, the person who isn't yelling because they just can't handle the stress of their too-full plate. Think of it as a kindness to the other person to just be honest from the get-go. They can then plan appropriately and you can take care of yourself. Mentally, spiritually, or physically. It's okay to put yourself first. When the plane is going down, they tell you to put your face mask on first. Think of your life that way, too. Can you really help other people, if you aren't helping yourself? 

If we started treating ourselves the way we treat other people, imagine how nice that would feel. Afford yourself the same care and kindness you give others. You deserve it. I promise. 

So, what boundaries are you going to put in place in your life? 

I hope you found this information helpful and I look forward to hearing your thoughts! 

As always, Namaste

💖

Alain Davis

@HopelessOptimst